Marriage Proposal
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A marriage proposal is an event where one person in a relationship asks for the other's hand in
marriage Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally and often legally recognized union between people called spouses. It establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children, and between ...
. If accepted, it marks the initiation of engagement, a mutual promise of later marriage. It often has a
ritual A ritual is a sequence of activities involving gestures, words, actions, or objects, performed according to a set sequence. Rituals may be prescribed by the traditions of a community, including a religious community. Rituals are characterized, b ...
quality.


Traditional proposals

In some Western cultures it is traditional for the man to make a proposal to the woman directly while
genuflecting Genuflection or genuflexion is the act of bending a knee to the ground, as distinguished from kneeling which more strictly involves both knees. From early times, it has been a gesture of deep respect for a superior. Today, the gesture is common ...
in front of her. The ritual often involves the formal asking of the question "Will you marry me, ...?" and the presentation of an engagement ring. It may include him putting the ring on her finger. In order to have the engagement blessed and ratified by the Church, Christian couples may then receive the optional Rite of Betrothal (also known as 'blessing an engaged couple' or 'declaration of intention'), which often includes prayer, Bible readings, a blessing of the engagement rings (in cultures in which rings are used), and a blessing of the couple. Other customs of initiating a marriage may include formal introduction of the partners to each other, such as the Japanese traditional custom of
Miai , or as it is properly known in Japan with the honorific prefix , is a Japanese traditional custom which relates closely to Western matchmaking, in which a woman and a man are introduced to each other to consider the possibility of marriage. T ...
. In many cultures it is traditional for a man to ask permission from a woman's father, in private, before proposing to her, or if her father has already died and she is still young, to ask permission of a near relation of hers. In earlier times, parental consent was necessary, if the man wanted to receive a
dowry A dowry is a payment, such as property or money, paid by the bride's family to the groom or his family at the time of marriage. Dowry contrasts with the related concepts of bride price and dower. While bride price or bride service is a payment b ...
or other money, and fathers could refuse proposals from men whom they considered unsuitable as husbands for their daughters. In the
Indian subcontinent The Indian subcontinent is a list of the physiographic regions of the world, physiographical region in United Nations geoscheme for Asia#Southern Asia, Southern Asia. It is situated on the Indian Plate, projecting southwards into the Indian O ...
, the parents of the couple may make a
marriage arrangement Arranged marriage is a type of marital union where the bride and groom are primarily selected by individuals other than the couple themselves, particularly by family members such as the parents. In some cultures a professional matchmaker may be us ...
, preceding or superseding the proposal, after which an engagement ceremony can occur.
Arranged marriages Arranged marriage is a type of marital union where the bride and groom are primarily selected by individuals other than the couple themselves, particularly by family members such as the parents. In some cultures a professional matchmaker may be us ...
were common between members of royal families throughout most of European history; such marriage contracts and proposals were made at great distances and often without first-hand contact between the parties prior to the engagement.


Modern Western proposals

Although most potential couples discuss their willingness to marry for a significant amount of time before a proposal occurs, and may schedule a specific time and place for the proposal to be made, it can also be intended as a surprise, although a survey on a wedding planning website reported that most proposals were not surprises. Although some proposals have been filmed for social media, most wedding engagements now begin with a conversation in which the parties mutually agree to wed, rather than a staged event.


Gender roles

In
Scotland Scotland (, ) is a country that is part of the United Kingdom. Covering the northern third of the island of Great Britain, mainland Scotland has a border with England to the southeast and is otherwise surrounded by the Atlantic Ocean to the ...
,
Ireland Ireland ( ; ga, Éire ; Ulster Scots dialect, Ulster-Scots: ) is an island in the Atlantic Ocean, North Atlantic Ocean, in Northwestern Europe, north-western Europe. It is separated from Great Britain to its east by the North Channel (Grea ...
and
England England is a country that is part of the United Kingdom. It shares land borders with Wales to its west and Scotland to its north. The Irish Sea lies northwest and the Celtic Sea to the southwest. It is separated from continental Europe b ...
, 29 February in a
leap year A leap year (also known as an intercalary year or bissextile year) is a calendar year that contains an additional day (or, in the case of a lunisolar calendar, a month) added to keep the calendar year synchronized with the astronomical year or s ...
is said to be the one day when a woman can propose to her partner.
Finland Finland ( fi, Suomi ; sv, Finland ), officially the Republic of Finland (; ), is a Nordic country in Northern Europe. It shares land borders with Sweden to the northwest, Norway to the north, and Russia to the east, with the Gulf of B ...
has the same custom, with the addition that a man rejecting such a proposal was expected to buy his suitor enough cloth for a skirt as compensation. As a
monarch A monarch is a head of stateWebster's II New College DictionarMonarch Houghton Mifflin. Boston. 2001. p. 707. Life tenure, for life or until abdication, and therefore the head of state of a monarchy. A monarch may exercise the highest authority ...
,
Queen Victoria Victoria (Alexandrina Victoria; 24 May 1819 – 22 January 1901) was Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland from 20 June 1837 until Death and state funeral of Queen Victoria, her death in 1901. Her reign of 63 years and 21 ...
had to propose to Prince Albert. Proposals by women have become more common in the English-speaking world in recent years, so jewelry companies have manufactured engagement rings for men. In the United States, about 5% of proposals are made by women. Younger people are less likely to approve of women proposing.


See also

*
Banns of marriage The banns of marriage, commonly known simply as the "banns" or "bans" (from a Middle English word meaning "proclamation", rooted in Frankish and thence in Old French), are the public announcement in a Christian parish church, or in the town cou ...
*
White wedding A white wedding is a traditional formal or semi-formal wedding originating in Great Britain. The term originates from the white colour of the wedding dress, which first became popular with Victorian era elites after Queen Victoria wore a whi ...


References


Further reading

* {{Authority control Engagement Proposals